Saying goodbye to the binge

This surgery will be the end of binge eating for me. I am glad about that, but I also wonder how I will cope. It's a love-hate sort of thing. I want to break this cycle; I hate what binging has brought me to, but it's familiar, comfortable, comforting.

Most of the time, I don't overeat because I'm hungry. The band will take away hunger, but it certainly won't solve all my problems with food. There is a long and difficult battle ahead.


It's less than one week before I start my 2 week Optifast stage. I find myself eating everything in sight--whole packets of TimTams, chips, ice cream, chocolate--as if I will never eat these things again. But I will eat them again, only not very often and in small amounts.

Food is neutral. Food is good. Food is fuel.


It's a trap to think of certain foods as 'bad' or 'forbidden.' If this is my mindset, then I will crave these things more and I will feel deprived and depressed, which will set the whole cycle back in motion. It is possible to cheat the band and still eat in an 'unhelpful' manner. I don't want to do that. I want to choose healthy, nutritious food and finally have a healthy, normal relationship with food.

Is it possible? All I can do is try.